Were you ever afraid to share how you really feel?
I think many of us can relate.
In this series on how to have great chemistry with others, it's necessary to recognize and discuss the role that fear plays in our relationship dynamics. With our varying DiSC styles and unique life experience, we each have our own motivations and psychological needs brimming under the surface of every interaction.
And today we're not afraid to talk about it.
During your DiSC workshop (and within your profile report on page 6) you discovered some activities may motivate you, but also some things that could stress you out. And of course, what causes you stress could be very different from what creates friction within your team or within your personal relationships at home.
And yes, we learned that the four DiSC styles tend to communicate in very predictable ways, and we are constantly people-reading each other so we can dial up and "flex" our interactions when needed. But sometimes flexing and being the adaptable one can be really, really hard.
So how do we make this easier?
The secret is in developing empathy towards one another.
What's one way we can develop more empathy towards one another?
Take note of their fears. Page 7 inside your profile report gives a great snapshot of what each DiSC style fears. Here's a quick overview.
D-STYLE FEARS
Loss of control
Being taken advantage of
Vulnerability
i-STYLE FEARS
Social rejection
Disapproval
Loss of influence
Being ignored
S-STYLE FEARS
Loss of stability
Change
Loss of harmony
Offending Others
C-STYLE FEARS
Criticism
Being Wrong
Carelessness
But doesn't everyone fear these things?
Yes and no. You may remember that one of the Cornerstone Principles of DiSC is that we are all a blend of all 4 DiSC styles. However, like a volume button, some priorities are “tuned a little louder” than others. If you are a CD style you are most likely less risk-averse and could recover quicker from an issue than someone who is a pure C style.
This is great, but how do I overcome my own fears?
Good question! I would recommend turning to the Taking Action page near the end of your profile report. On this page, you’ll find 3 key strategies that might help you work more effectively with anyone in the workplace. As an i-style, one of my fears is Rejection. And the strategy I chose on the Taking Action page is to acknowledge problems rather than glossing them over. Because I placed a high value on relationships, I had this almost unnecessary fear that if I spoke up about what was bothering me, it may ruin the relationship for good. Once I started flexing this new muscle, I could see that this fear posed little danger and sharing vulnerably my true thoughts and feelings actually made my relationship better.
Once you have a better understanding of what each DiSC style fears, developing empathy takes less effort. Then the path to positive chemistry becomes much easier to navigate.
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